PDA: Public Displays of Annoyance

Dear Chilean couples,

While I´d like to be happy for you and your passionate love, I have to let you know that you´re really getting on my nerves.

First of all, you guys are EVERYWHERE. Case in point: I am currently in the University of Chile computer lab, where 5 minutes ago I was perfectly content just checking email and catching up on news headlines. Then I heard a slurping sound and tried my hardest just to stay focused on the monitor in front of me, but then you started moaning so I tried to make eye contact to give you a hint that you should probably relocate to one of the many other make-out spots in the building. But alas, your eyes were locked on one another so you didn´t get my message and now you continue to suck face, occupying not one but two computers that other people are patiently waiting to use.

I don´t know whether to blame it on the spring weather OR the Chilean culture OR my singledom that makes me more aware/annoyed by couples (it´s probably thanks to a little of all three), however this city is infested with them. From the moment I walk out the door in the morning to the moment I get home at night, it´s like an endless parade of couples...as if they´re all prancing around just to mock me.

Now I have no problem with public displays of affection. Hand-holding is cute and little farewell kisses are just lovely. But when your lip-locking is blocking the doorway of the metro, then I have a problem. When your hands start disappearing to unseen places and then you grab onto the handlebar without sanitizing first, then I have a problem. When it seems like every single solitary person is paired up besides me, then I have a problem.

My poetry class has trained me to write poetry whenever I feel intense emotions. So now I will vent in true Dr. Seuss style:

I do not like Chilean pairs, I do not like them her or there.
Not on the train or on the street, not in the library nor in my seat!
Not in the computer lab, not in my class, not in the supermarket, not on park grass!
I do not like Chilean pairs, I do not like them anywhere.

Phew. I feel better already.